What Does It Mean to Be More Present?
We hear the phrase “be more present” a ton. It’s literally everywhere. And while we all basically agree with the notion that being more present is beneficial, it can be very difficult to know exactly what that phrase means and how to go about doing it. To be more present, we first need to recognize why we need to try to be this way at all. Why are we not naturally present? If we’re not present, where are we?
In truth, we are all extremely distracted. Even when you think you are not distracted, you're probably distracted. By no fault of our own, thoughts are constantly popping up in our mind and pulling us in one direction or another. We can even become distracted from thinking about how distracted we are! It feels as though we have no control over the push and pull of these thoughts. Meditation can help this immensely, it can help us regain control over our own thoughts and allow us to actively choose if we want to be in the present moment or not.
If we investigate carefully, we will begin to realize that nearly all of our thoughts fall into one of these two categories: the past or the future. How often do you find yourself thinking about something upsetting someone said to you? These thoughts are of the past. How often have you found yourself worrying about getting your work done so you can make it home or to an event on time? These thoughts are of the future. Our distractions are, predominantly, thoughts about past and future occurrences. Our mind cannot be in two places at once, so if it is thinking about the past or future it cannot be thinking about the present. We are very rarely living in the present moment.
When we are wrapped up in the past or the future, we are technically not in reality. Past events are gone, yesterday is gone. It lives nowhere other than in your mind. When you are ruminating on something upsetting someone said to you, you are bringing that painful experience back into the present moment, voluntarily. In reality, that upsetting moment is gone and you don't need to bring it back unless you want to -- you don’t need to be at the mercy of your thoughts. The same goes for worrying about the future. When you are worrying about an upcoming event or project that is due, you are worrying about something that hasn't happened yet, something that doesn't actually exist in reality yet. Anxiety is all about dwelling on the future.
When we train in any type of meditation, we are training our mind how to live in the present moment, how to live in reality. Meditation teaches you to use a neutral object, most commonly the breath, to engage in what is known as single-pointed concentration — focusing your mind exclusively on this object. When your mind inevitably wanders away to thoughts of the past or future, you simply bring it back to following each breath, present moment to present moment. When we are truly focused on our breathing in this way, there is no room in our mind for our usual distracting thoughts. We inevitably find ourselves feeling more relaxed because living in the present moment is relaxing, our mind’s true reality is peaceful. It’s the mind’s desire to dwell in the past or future that brings about depression, anxiety, anger, jealousy, and all the other negative mind states that we encounter day to day.
Being more present means recognizing that the past is gone and the future hasn't happened yet. It’s understanding that our minds’ natural state, its reality, is peacefulness. It’s realizing we have a choice. When we take all of this to heart, we will naturally put in the effort to train our mind to abide in its naturally peaceful state. Why wouldn’t we?